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The secret diary of a single parent bloke

Why I’m pissed off tonight

Writen: Monday, July 19th, 2010, uploaded: Monday, July 19th, 2010


I’ve found, over the years, that the best way to deal with Kat is not to deal with her at all. This was illustrated by events over the last few days.

On Monday last week, Natalia announced that one of the parents had set up a disco for the year six leavers, and the disco was on Friday the same week. The kids were due to be with their mother, Katrina, but that wasn’t a problem. What was a problem was that Nat wanted to wear a dress!

Natalie dresses like a tomboy- jeans and t-shirts only. Despite my (and various other relative’s efforts) to get her to dress like a girl on previous occasions, we’d all failed. Consequently, she didn’t own a dress.

Our hectic weeknight schedule ruled out an evening at the shopping centre, so we looked on the Internet. None of the stores we looked at had any dresses to fit in stock- I guess the American Proms have caught on over here! She asked her Mom to take her shopping one night, but she refused. She found a dress that she liked on the Next website, but that too was sold out. I promised to pop into town during the day and take a look.

As promised, on Tuesday, I went to Next, but they were sold out too. They had one single dress that would fit her, so I bought it!

Nat tried it on, and hated it! So we went back online, but still ad the same problem. On Wednesday, my Mom suggested some websites that I had forgotten, and Nat chose a lovely spotty dress from M&S. I bought it, and paid extra for a Friday delivery.

The dress arrived, but was far too small (despite being the same “size” as the on from Next. It was now 3:30 on Friday, Kat was picking up Nat in one hour. I said we could rush to M&S in town and try to change it. Nat texted Kat, and told her we’d be late.

M&S did have a larger size, but astonishingly that didn’t fit either. Nat was in tears, I was frustrated, and Jack was bored. Nat looked at her phone- six missed calls from Kat! Kat was furious because we we’re at home, and told Nat off (even though Nat had texted her).

We called into Primark as a last resort, Nat instantly spotted a dress she liked, tried it on, it fitted (but was a size 14), I bought it, we went home. Kat was waiting outside. She stepped out of the car- she was wearing the shortest, tightest fitting dress I’ve seen outside of a the local flesh market. She’d decided that she was going to the party too, despite it being for 11 year olds! Now, I must admit, Kat has a great figure- slim, big boobs, long blonde hair- all let down by the perma-scowl on her face. I’m not sure who it was for- the 11 year old boys, who comment that she’s like a model, or their dads.

So, off they went. Jack was dumped at his nan’s (again), Nat and Kat went to the party.

On Sunday, Natalia and Jack came home, and Nat was keen to show me her photos. “Why didn’t you wear your new dress?” I enquired.
“Mom wouldn’t let me”
“She said that I couldn’t wear a size 14 dress because I’m not a size 14 and I’d think I was fat!”
“So what is that you’re wearing?”
“Black leggings and a black Veruca Salt t-shirt”

So all of Natalia’s friends were wearing their best party dresses, as was her mother, but poor old Nat had to make do with a scruffy rock t-shirt.

“At least you can wear your new dress to the school disco on Wednesday” I said.
“Mom hasn’t returned it”
“Can you send her a text and tell her to return it, as you need it for Wednesday”
Natalia did just that. I bit my lip and and resisted the urge to say what I really thought of Kat.

Monday morning, and it’s the usual chaos. Natalia is searching the bag of clothes from the weekend, that I haven’t washed yet (that’s right, Kat won’t keep any clothes at hers, and usually sends everything home dirty- including some of her and Dave’s underwear from time to time, but that goes straight into the bin).
Natalia informs me that she hasn’t brought her school skirt home. She only has one, as she leaves for a new school on Wednesday, I haven’t been replacing uniform. Just then, Kat phones. I answer, and ask her to return Nat’s skirt and dress tonight. She says no, because she’s working (I don’t understand how she could be working from 8am on Monday right through the night). I say that Natalia needs her uniform, and she must return it tonight. She snaps back that “it’ll be really late”. “That’s fine” I say.

Natalia breaks open her skirt for her new school, and wears that, and I apologies to the school for the incorrect uniform.

The evening comes, and Kat again phones, speaking to Nat. Nat looks uncomfortable. After the phone call, she says to me
“Mom says that she wants to know ‘why is your Dad bullying me so much about the uniform?’”
I sit, speechless, mouth open.
“I haven’t bullied her. You need it for school”
“That’s what I said”
“I can’t believe she’s said that”
“I know”
I sit there for a while longer, mouth still open.

An hour or so passes, Jack’s at Cubs and me and Nat are putting away washing upstairs. I spot Kat’s car outside, and tell Nat that her Mom’s here.
She open’s the door.
“Don’t your phones work?”
Nat, “What?”
“I called. Are they broken?” She handed over a bag, and walked off back to her car.

We headed back to the living room, and the phone rang. I have caller-ID, so I could see it was Kat.
“It’s your mom”
“Is she still outside?”
I look through the window “No, she’s gone”
I answer the phone “Hello”
“Oh, so your phones DO work then!”
“No need for sarcasm” I hang up.

Nat looks very upset. The phone rings again.
“It’s your mom again”
“I don’t want to speak to her”
“Do you want me to answer it?”
“I don’t know. I hate this, leave me out of it.”
“OK, I won’t answer. We’ll let it ring”
It rings off.

Then it rings again.
“It’s your mom again. We’ll leave it to ring again”
“She’s going to be angry”
“Do you want me to answer?”
“No. Just leave me out of this. I don’t want this”
“Don’t worry, we won’t answer it”
It rings off.

Natalia’s mobile starts to ring.
“Oh my god, she’s gonna be angry. I don’t want to be part of this.”
“Shall we leave it to ring”
“No. She’ll be angry”
“Do you want me to answer it?”
I pick up the phone, but Nat takes it off me and answers it.
“We were upstairs, we didn’t hear the phones, they were all downstairs”
“OK. Love you hunny”
“Love you too”

Natalia sticks to me like a limpet for the rest of the evening.

But at least it’s not as bad as when she told Natalia that “Your Dad’s so fat, he’ll probably be dead soon anyway”.


Your Comments

Comments (7)

7 Responses to “ Why I’m pissed off tonight ”

    Bloke commented at 8:38 pm on July 19th, 2010

    I’d like to point out that I’m 6″0′ tall and 16 and a half stone. Fat? A bit. About to die from obesity? Certainly not!


    Kate Crane commented at 8:42 pm on July 19th, 2010

    Fricking hell. I can’t believe that she wouldn’t let her wear that dress. And there’s no way a 14 is fat. Sizing is so all over the place sometimes that a 14 might fit someone who is normally a size 10.

    I really feel for you that you have to go through this. I really just don’t get some people and why they feel they need to do this, putting you and your kids through it all. I’m really really sorry. Not sure what else I can say to help.


    vickicb commented at 11:16 pm on July 19th, 2010

    Is your ex maybe feeling weird about nat finishing primary and growing up? I know I feel more weird about it than my son does I who seems to be taking it all in his stride and is ready to move on. That said, she’s still being a b**ch. Her choice to have little to do with the kids since the divorce. I’ve got 2 boys and would love a daughter to go dress shopping with. Cannot believe she didn’t want to do that with nat. And 14 is not fat, primark sizes are all over the place!


    singlemama_cc commented at 1:37 am on July 20th, 2010

    Christ on a bicycle. Your ex is a wicked one isn’t she?! She is a classic example of what I mean when I say some women are just vindictive little bitches. Someone should slap her. Seriously. Who the fuck tells their daughter she’s not a size whatever?! And really, how dare you bully (or as normal ppl call it…teach) your child to mind the rules and dress code of her school. I think your ex may be a *bit* bonkers.
    It totally sucks that her nastyness is putting a damper on your daughters day. It’s hard enough to be a teenage girl…it seems the ex has forgotten that…good thing her father is aware and prepared to get his daughter through those stupid teen years (i say that as a once very very stupid teen)
    I think you’re doing a wonderful job…seriously, I would have slapped her by now. You’re a better person than I :)


    Janie commented at 7:30 am on July 20th, 2010

    I haven’t got kids so my divorce had other complications but I consider that a small price for the freedom! It never fails to shock me how people that once had enough feeling for each at some point to get married end up so bitter! How can Kat justify using her daughter for her own insecurities? Whatever the issues are with you and her, Jack and Nat should be sheltered from it, as I can see you are trying to do.

    Kat will regret all this one day, when its too late!



    Bloke commented at 8:36 am on July 20th, 2010

    I forgot to mention- even after all of this, the school skirt wasn’t returned.


    Lisa commented at 3:32 pm on July 20th, 2010

    As we are both very aware, some people just weren’t ever cut out to be parents. Sadly that isn’t something you tend to find out until it is too late. I often find myself wishing that my ex would just disappear off the face of the earth and I guess you must do that a fair bit too – although deep down I’m not sure if that would be worse for the kids?

    Fact of the matter is, you and I are both saints. Simples.


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