Filling empty pages | Single Dad's Diary - The secret diary of a single parent dad

 

 

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The secret diary of a single parent bloke

Filling empty pages

Uploaded: Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

5
Monday, March 5th, 2007.

I’ve not long returned from a huge weekend away with the social club which I’m a member of. To be honest, it was a “make or break” weekend- if it was good, I’d remain a member; if not, then I’d save my money and quit. They do lots of fabulous things, but being a single parent takes up so much of my time that I barely have any time for myself. But I was determined to have a break without the kids this year, and that’s what I’ve done.

And I’ve had the best time of my life!

I got on the coach knowing only 2 people beforehand (a list of attendees is published in advance), but as people started to file onto the empty coach, I saw them as empty pages waiting to be filled with stories of the weekend and new friendships. I wasn’t wrong.

The daunting 6 hour coach drive to the hotel proved to be a great way to get to know people. After a few swaps around at service stations, I found myself sat on the back seat with Sarah, Lucy, Leanne and Tim. We got on like a house on fire, and didn’t separate for the whole of the weekend. Trips out, all night parties, restaurants, pubs and general messing around – I don’t think I’ve ever had such a good time, and bonded so quickly and well with other people.

A few times, I found myself thankful that Katrina had destroyed our marriage. Without her actions, I’d probably be sat in front of the TV, watching junk while she fell asleep on the sofa.

There’s another weekend away in the summer, and our little group of 5 have decided that we’re all going to go, and share a chalet.

Sarah and Tim spent most of the long journey home flirting with each other, and I’m pretty sure that Lucy was interested in me!

 

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Comments (5)

5 Responses to “ Filling empty pages ”

  1.  
    shane commented at 10:32 pm on August 1st, 2011

    I am a single Dad of three girls.I have full physical custody & very little help. Lookin for answers & any advice.

     

  2.  
    Bloke commented at 2:07 pm on August 4th, 2011

    Shane, it’s always difficult. If I had to list three things that I’ve discovered about how to cope, they would be:

    Establish a routine. Having set bedtimes, mealtimes, bath nights, etc really made a big difference. You can plan your time, the kids know what to expect. It can be difficult (especially bedtimes) but is invaluable.
    Try to have fun. As part of the routine, set aside time for board games, etc. We have a movie night every other Friday- I get a movie, we go to the shop to get sweets, and watch it together. It could be sports, park, jigsaws- something that involves everyone. Withdrawal can also be used as a threat for bad behaviour.
    Make time for yourself. Probably the most difficult one to achieve, but it’s important to consider yourself too- a burnt out dad is no use to anyone, especially your kids! If you can get out, even if it’s just once every couple of weeks, and do something that you enjoy then it will give you something to look forward too and could help with the social life too

    These three things have got me through some very difficult times. None are easy. If you need to, use the “contact form” page to send me a message or Twitter @SingleDadsDiary. Good luck.

     

  3.  
    Bob Greig commented at 2:44 pm on August 4th, 2011

    Blimey – all the advice you give to Shane is spot on.

    The other thing that I do, when things get really hard, is say to myself that things ARE really hard! And then it sort of feels a bit better that everything isn’t perfect.

    It’s about not being too hard on yourself :-)

    Good luck Shane – things do get easier!

    Bob

     

  4.  
    Amy Whyley commented at 3:47 pm on August 4th, 2011

    Shane are you in the UK? If so there are plenty of Dads groups and stay and play groups for mums and dads at surestart. I was a single mum for about 3 years and I relied on the stay and plays. My husband takes the kids to the Dads groups and he loves them. It is hard being a single parent of any kind, but I do think single dads get the raw end of the deal as theres so much for mums and next to nothing for dads. Swimmings also a good one to do with the kids
    Good Luck
    Amy xx

     

  5.  
    lingz commented at 3:03 am on November 12th, 2014

    I’m a single parent of 3 with the dad non existent in thier lives. So i don’t get to see or meet up. I crave for an outing or help but feel so alone as i don’t have a supportive friend or family.

     


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