The secret diary of a single parent bloke
I’d been to see my friend Carla, who works in the same building as me. Throughout all of the problems, she’s been my agony aunt. Even when I first found out about Kat’s affair, and everyone was against me, I’d confided in Carla, and she was always there for me with a sympathetic ear.
Her office is tucked away, so nobody knows how many hours I spend there- I listen to her problems, she listens to mine. This morning, just as with so many other mornings, I was up there for a chat.
She suddenly remarked that I hadn’t had a hangover for ages. I thought about it, and she was right. As well as being a shoulder to cry on, she also carried a stash of painkillers, and was usually my first port of call when I was hungover.
I had been aware that during the last few months of my time with Kat, I’d begun to drink a lot. I’d never been a big drinker- a real lightweight in fact, but at the end of the day, after I’d finally finished “my chores” I’d pour myself a whisky. And then another. And then another. Nobody noticed- the kids were asleep upstairs, Kat was usually asleep on the sofa (only waking up if I dared to turn the TV over, or turn on the computer, or use the phone, or pretty much anything in fact), so I was sat on my own, tired, bored, depressed, lonely and unloved. Pouring myself a drink seemed to be the only thing that wouldn’t make the situation worse. But of course, it really wasn’t helping.
Some mornings, I’d woken up still feeling so drunk, that I’d had to ask Kat to drive me to work. I’d been aware of the growing problem, and been concerned about it, but it seemed to be the only thing there for me so I hadn’t felt inclined to do anything about it. Although I hadn’t been dependent on alcohol, I knew the signs (I’d grown up in a house with a violent alcoholic- my Mom’s ex-partner), I had the early stages of a drink problem.
Although I’d been aware that I’d been developing a drink problem towards the last of my time with Kat, what I hadn’t noticed was that it had gone away with her. I hadn’t had a drink for a while, and when I had, it hadn’t been much. This wasn’t a conscious decision to curb my alcohol intake, it had just been a natural decline- and I hadn’t even noticed it happening.