The secret diary of a single parent bloke
I’ve been cooped up in the house, all alone for what seems like years (even though it’s not much more than a month), but yesterday was my big day out! The kids were spending their first full weekend with Kat at Dave’s house, so I had Saturday all to myself- and boy was I going to make the most of it! Off down to London to do all of the “boring shit” that she never wanted to do.
On the agenda: Tate Modern, gadget shops at Tottenham Court Road, The British Museum and Camden Market- none of which I’d visited before. I caught the train at some ungodly hour, so as to get there early enough to cram it all in.
First stop: Tate Modern. I found most of the exhibits to be utter trash (literally, in one case), yet strangely inspiring. I often find that with galleries and museums, I may not like what’s in them, but my head buzzes with ideas for days afterwards. I didn’t stay long: my phone rang. It was Kat.
She said that she was bringing the kids home. Dave couldn’t cope with them in his house- they were sliding on his laminate floor! Tough- I was in London, deal with it. She wanted to know who with, and as much as I wanted to make up something about going there with some new woman I’d met, I told her the truth, I was there alone.
But she and Dave couldn’t handle the kids, and even worse (for me), she still had a key to the house and wanted to take them home anyway (the solicitor had specifically told me that I wan’t allowed to change the locks!) Well, there was no way I wanted her there. So I spent the next half an hour stood on the Millennium Bridge, in the beautiful warm spring sunshine, negotiating with my ex, Sam (my brother) and my Dad to come up with a plan. And what a plan it was!
Kat would take the kids to Sam’s, who would then take them home and babysit until I returned late that night. But Sam didn’t have a key and my Dad (who did have a key) was working away, so Kat would have to give Sam her key. She agreed. Yes! I had my kids home and my key back.
I had regular updates from Sam and of course Natalia and Jack, and they were having a great time with my brother, and I was happy knowing that they were in trusted hands.
All done. I went off and did my stuff, got plenty of culture and a couple of beers next to the canal at Camden, then off to Tottenham Court Road for some gadget lust, and then the British Museum where I spent a long time sitting and looking at the Elgin Marbles- mainly because my blisters were so bad by that point that I could hardly walk. I got home at about midnught, happy following my day, the return of my kids, and the knowledge that Kat could no longer get into the house.
A few days later, Kat entered the house while I was at work, and was surprised to find Lydia there babysitting for me. Before dropping the kids off at Sam’s, it seems that she’d gone and got another key cut!