The secret diary of a single parent bloke
My Dad’s been aware of problems with my marriage. Not from me, I really don’t want to share the problems with anybody (except you, of course, dear diary), but from Kat.
Kat and my Dad adore each other. She’s the daughter he never had, he’s the decent father that she never had. In fact, everyone on my Dad’s side of the family think she’s wonderful. Conversely, Kat and my Mom really don’t get along. Just as I haven’t been sharing information with my Dad, I also haven’t been sharing it with my Mom either- but of course because Kat doesn’t like her, she don’t know anything about it from her either.
My Dad’s trying to be supportive, offering me suggestions of how I can be a better husband and father. I suspect that much of it is originating from Kat. I feel conflicted- I still love her, I want to save my marriage and family, but I know that I’m doing all of the giving, and Kat’s doing all of the taking.
Dad’s noticed how the state of the home has deteriorated over the last few months, and he’s been persuaded that it’s my fault. I’ve got a week off work, so he suggests that I do some decorating. I’ve had some money for Christmas, I’ve got a few days off, so I guess I’ll be doing some decorating.
I’m absolutely at my wit’s end- I feel as if everything’s coming down on my shoulders, and I’m struggling to know what to do. I really want the marriage and the family to work, but Kat really doesn’t. But what does she want? She really doesn’t seem in the slightest bit interested in Natalia and Jack, nor the house, and certainly not me.
Such a trivial thing happened a few days ago, and yet it’s indicative of how things are at the moment: I’d spent nearly two hours sorting out the cutlery drawer (yes, really that long- cleaning, sorting, throwing stuff away, cleaning the tray and the drawer), and as soon as I’d finished, Kat took all of the clean cutlery out of the dishwasher and threw it into the neat drawer. I asked her why she’d just messed it up, and she just shrugged her shoulders and said that it wouldn’t stay tidy anyway. That’s what life’s like here at the moment- everything I work to do, she undo’s as soon as possible.
What can I do?