Trying my very best | Single Dad's Diary - The secret diary of a single parent dad



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The secret diary of a single parent bloke

Trying my very best

Uploaded: Thursday, March 11th, 2010

Thursday, July 8th, 2004.

I’m still feeling confused, and really depressed. Am I really such an awful person. I’m spending so much time trying to work out why I’m such a failure. There’s plenty of “advice” from Kat and my Dad: “you need to work less”, “do more around the house”, “spend more time with the kids”, “no more bringing work home”. All of these I did, putting my heart and sole into everything I did for Katrina, Natalia and Jack. Of course, I still have to go to work full time, but come home and try to spend more time with the kids, but they’re Kat’s babies, and I’m pretty much pushed away. I’m spending hours tiding the house, which Kat messes up quicker than I can clean. And while I’m still cleaning the kitchen every night, she’s watching TV. It seems that the more I do, the more difficult she becames. I wonder how other families lived. Why does our kitchen take me three hours to clean every single night? Surely this wasn’t normal? But I want to save the marriage, so I carry on. It’s odd how the phone bills never seem to arrive. Neither the landline or mobile bills (all in my name) have arrived for a few months. When I asked Kat whether she’d seen them (she worked part-time, and was generally in when the post arrived), she’s always deny it. Bank statements also got “lost in the post”, so I used to have to get mini-statements out of the ATM, so I knew that the bills were high. I logged onto the phone company’s website, and downloaded our mobile bill- it was a huge amount, and ran to about 10 pages. Two numbers were prominent- the ISP (we were on dial-up) and another mobile number. I called it, and got an answer phone. It was him! So I confronted her about it. She said that he’d been sending her messages, and she’d kept calling him to tell him to stop. But I shouldn’t be surprised, he was only trying to make her feel loved. I’d never shown her any love, apparently.


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One Response to “ Trying my very best ”

    Flora commented at 7:11 pm on October 1st, 2010

    when a person feels incompetent about themselves, they always blame others. you did great….and i understand that part where you’re pretty much pushed away.


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